a gift received in the Temple of Love...

“We are Beauty and we are Darkness…

We are Light and we are Change”   T Thorne Coyle

I am Inspiration in the form of a Dragon!

I am a Dragon in the form of a Woman…

I am a Woman in the form of a Shaman…

I am a Shaman in the form of a Witch...

I am a Witch in the form of a Priestess…

I am a Priestess in the form of a Goddess…

I am a Goddess in the form of a Dragon…

I am Beautiful in All my Forms!

“In the Temple of Love,

I sing from the Water that Flows through my Heart,

…Longing and Belonging…”  Baltimore Reclaiming Ritual, Sacred Space, March 11^th, 2017

Heart Wide Open…

Part of knowing yourself is understanding your anatomy and physiology.  That is to say, knowing our Parts and understanding how they function.  While it helps to have a basic understanding of our physical bodies, understanding our energetic anatomy and physiology is equally important.  We are not just physical bodies, we are also minds, hearts, souls, and shadows.

I have been learning about all my parts (including my body) for quite a while now, and I have become acutely aware of a particular truth about how my Magickal Self functions. Specifically, I have become aware that when my heart is not open, my magick is impotent.  I still have knowledge, and I even retain access to communication, my mind still works but, I have no access to my power.  I cannot FEEL.  I cannot feel inspiration, or imagination, or desire, or passion, or pleasure, or joy, or sorrow, or anger, or love, or power.  When the gate of my heart is closed, I am not fully awake, or alive. 

My Heart is the gateway to those other parts of me, the ones that are essential to life and to magick.  All my parts must be engaged for me to live and to fulfill my purpose.  I cannot bypass my heart.  In these past few years, I have come to know how wonderful life can be when my heart is open.  It is WHO I am.  I am supposed to be a woman who lives life with her heart wide open.  That is who I was always supposed to be.  I have rediscovered that woman and remembered her over these past years.  It is my intention to live that life, inspired, empowered, and following my open heart.  So Mote it Be.

the crash...

I have been high on you for days now…

When you left

I breathed you in as deeply as I could

an opium addict breathing in the sacred flower

collecting your scent like a bee collecting pollen

wanting to climb inside your skin

and go with you

a contagion in your blood

a chrysalis lodged within your brain

your goodbye reminded me

of where the bruises will show

a few days from now.

And with a smile that said

“I’m sorry, You deserve more than I can give you…”

Your pity robbed me of my strength.

and all of the joy

that you could have left behind,

you took with you

  

I NEVER ASKED FOR MORE

I AM NOT ASKING NOW

the grip of your hand is gone

but my throat is tight

and my chest

Insecurity

a black and twisted vine

 has grown from my womb

 three feet in the hours since you left

wrapping around my heart

around my throat

each breath, each beat   

struggle against desire

The bruises are tender now,

the ones that are visible 

and the ones just under the surface

that I can feel but not yet see. 

and the ones that will never show on my skin

I am unsure,  

of all but the tears I can no longer turn to ice

my heart is too warm now

thawed by the heat within me

by the fire that has awakened

by flames I cannot, will not live without 

I wish you had left me

in that oblivion

where my words and my names are not

and smiles do not leave bruises.