I am a woman, a queer woman but, a woman nonetheless. Yet there are parts of me that are masculine in nature, that express the Divine Masculine within me. The Teacher, the Healer and, the Poet to name a few. I worship the Masculine God with as much devotion as I do the Feminine Goddess. I find myself more strongly connected to my male ancestors and to my father’s bloodline but, I will never be a man in this lifetime.
I study theories on male identity and psychology to better understand and relate to, to better serve, and love the men in my life. I have a father, brothers (one passed on and one living) a son, a nephew, friends, lovers, housemates, coven-mates, tradition-mates, teachers, priests and elders. I may someday have grandsons. I want to support them and understand them as much as I am capable of.
When I was a child, I hated wearing my brother’s hand-me-downs. I hated having short hair. But as a grown woman, I have become curious about just how it might feel to experience the world as someone of the male gender. How does it feel to walk about in the world as a man? How does it differ from the power I have as a woman? How does the world treat a man differently from the way it treats me?
I am considering an experiment, and a few of the men in my life, including a lover, are supportive of the idea. I am going to find men’s clothing that fits and suits me, and we are going to go out into the world together, so that I can find out how it feels. I find myself surprisingly excited to have this experience. And deeply grateful for these precious companions and their unreserved support.
I will let you know how it goes.
Adventures are good, new experiences are good, gaining better understanding of the men in my life is good, learning more about myself and the world is good too.