You cannot completely control another person’s perceptions. Neither the way that they perceive the universe nor, the way that they perceive you. It is an immensely frustrating fact. You can try very hard to communicate, to be transparent, to express yourself truthfully and honestly but, you cannot control the way you are perceived. And another’s perceptions are always, at least in part, colored by their own feelings and unconscious programming, as are our own.
I am perceived by many to be cold and distant. Apparently I have many sharp edges and it matters not that this is neither my intention nor, how I truly feel about the world or other people.
All the advice someone can give me about how to be warm and approachable is beyond my ability to always follow successfully, no matter how much I might wish to.
This fact is painful sometimes because it feels as though I am being judged as deficient in some way and, because I do not like to fail.
But what I can do is be sure to examine my own perceptions and judgments and, give someone else the benefit of the doubt. I can remember that my own perceptions of others are not always completely accurate and that I am not capable of knowing everything about their heart and soul.