I am in the process of deconstructing the structures and patterns of behavior and function that I have built and used through most of my life. I am returning to the core of my being, returning to the child and her gifts, talents, and joys, to the truth of who I was, and who I am.
The process is painful and, without the tools that I have used for decades, panic and depression are more difficult to keep at bay. The new skills that I am learning are less familiar. They require practice to remember and to use and, I have not yet developed grace.
I have a vision of who I wish to become but, the path to becoming is a mystery to me still.
So I continue to consciously reject the old patterns of behavior, I continue to learn new skills and to practice them. I continue to remember who I am in truth. I continue to remember the vision of who I hope to become.
May my Gods, my Ancestors and my Allies bless me in this work. So Mote It Be.