on becoming...

I am in the process of deconstructing the structures and patterns of behavior and function that I have built and used through most of my life.  I am returning to the core of my being, returning to the child and her gifts, talents, and joys, to the truth of who I was, and who I am. 

The process is painful and, without the tools that I have used for decades, panic and depression are more difficult to keep at bay.  The new skills that I am learning are less familiar.  They require practice to remember and to use and, I have not yet developed grace.

I have a vision of who I wish to become but, the path to becoming is a mystery to me still.

So I continue to consciously reject the old patterns of behavior, I continue to learn new skills and to practice them.  I continue to remember who I am in truth.  I continue to remember the vision of who I hope to become.  

May my Gods, my Ancestors and my Allies bless me in this work.   So Mote It Be.