I am a woman, a queer woman but, a woman nonetheless. Yet there are parts of me that are masculine
in nature, that express the Divine Masculine within me. The Teacher, the Healer and, the Poet to name
a few. I worship the Masculine God with
as much devotion as I do the Feminine Goddess.
I find myself more strongly connected to my male ancestors and to my
father’s bloodline but, I will never be a man in this lifetime.
I study theories on male identity and psychology to better understand
and relate to, to better serve, and love the men in my life. I have a father, brothers (one passed on and
one living) a son, a nephew, friends, lovers, housemates, coven-mates,
tradition-mates, teachers, priests and elders.
I may someday have grandsons. I
want to support them and understand them as much as I am capable of.
When I was a child, I hated wearing my brother’s
hand-me-downs. I hated having short
hair. But as a grown woman, I have
become curious about just how it might feel to experience the world as someone
of the male gender. How does it feel to walk about in the world as
a man? How does it differ from the power
I have as a woman? How does the world
treat a man differently from the way it treats me?
I am considering an experiment, and a few of the men in my
life, including a lover, are supportive of the idea. I am going to find men’s clothing that fits
and suits me, and we are going to go out into the world together, so that I can
find out how it feels. I find myself surprisingly excited to have
this experience. And deeply grateful for
these precious companions and their unreserved support.
I will let you know how it goes.
Adventures are good, new experiences are
good, gaining better understanding of the men in my life is good, learning more
about myself and the world is good too.
