Asking the questions...

I read two articles this week by two women who have a great deal in common with me, or at least it seems as though they do.  

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/03/how-to-love-a-girl-who-doesnt-know-how-to-be-loved/

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/03/how-to-love-yourself-when-you-dont-know-how-to-be-loved-tui-anderson/ 

Both were full of insights that rang true for me and more than a few details that did not.  We are not all the same but, we have enough in common for me to identify with them.

My ex-husband has recently fallen head-over-heels, off the high dive and into the deep-end of the ocean without a life jacket, in love for the first time in his life.  I am very happy for him, truly.  It is good to see, and to know that I did the right thing for him, that by making the choice to leave, I made room for him to find that most precious thing. 

It has me thinking a lot about my own emotional availability.  I know how to love others.  Loving other people is very important to me but, do I know how to let others love me?  Do I know how to be open enough, to let someone get close enough, to let them inside?  Do I know how not to push them away, or how not to run away as fast as I can?  Do I only fall in love with those who are unavailable to me in some way?  If I truly am one of those people who do not know how to let someone love them, can I learn?

I do not know the answers to these questions but, I think I am finally ready to begin asking them.