I read two articles this week by two women who have a great deal in common with me, or at least it seems as though they do.
Both were full of insights that rang true for me and more than a few details that did not. We are not all the same but, we have enough in common for me to identify with them.
My ex-husband has recently fallen head-over-heels, off the high dive and into the deep-end of the ocean without a life jacket, in love for the first time in his life. I am very happy for him, truly. It is good to see, and to know that I did the right thing for him, that by making the choice to leave, I made room for him to find that most precious thing.
It has me thinking a lot about my own emotional availability. I know how to love others. Loving other people is very important to me but, do I know how to let others love me? Do I know how to be open enough, to let someone get close enough, to let them inside? Do I know how not to push them away, or how not to run away as fast as I can? Do I only fall in love with those who are unavailable to me in some way? If I truly am one of those people who do not know how to let someone love them, can I learn?
I do not know the answers to these questions but, I think I am finally ready to begin asking them.