I have been crying today. The empty space is full of sadness and the tears keep overflowing. I know that I will be better soon but, I am too raw tonight to write with the last two members of the committee. All of the others are strong in their own ways. All of them can have conversations and interact, negotiate, even find points of agreement. But the bitch and Pluto’s child are different. They are too vulnerable. To work with them, I need to be in a place of strength. And that is not where I am tonight. Tomorrow I will spend the afternoon with my family to celebrate Christmas together. I will be Nanna and the human mother, aunt, sister, daughter. My family makes me strong. My granddaughter is fearless and adventurous. As a one year old she sets an example for me and reminds me of what matters, of why it is important to brave the difficult places. I will sleep and then spend a joyous few hours with her and my children. Then I will have regained my place of strength, and I can and will write with the bitch and the shadow child. Sometimes we need to know our limits and respect them.